At Kayani Legal Solicitors we canreassure you of specialist solicitors with expert training and experience in domestic violence. Our lawyers have helped many victims to gain protection from future harm, and take action against those who have harmed them. Where there is an immediate risk, we will move swiftly to apply for a non-molestation order so that you are legally safeguarded. Whatever the circumstances, we encourage you to take the important step of reporting the incident. Whether the abuse is mental or physical; you are male or female, gay or straight; our solicitors are ready to help you.

Domestic Abuse and divorce

We all know the term “domestic abuse”. However, do we know what it means or who it is happening to? Domestic abuse is, unfortunately, taking place all around us and yet very few of us will be aware of it happening to our friends or family as it usually occurs behind closed doors. For many divorce solicitors, this, therefore, means that some of our clients will be victims of domestic violence but may not openly speak about it.

The statistics on domestic abuse are shocking. According to Refuge 1 in 4 women in England and Wales experience domestic violence in their lifetimes. 1 in 6 men experiences it in their lifetime. Every minute, police in the UK receive a domestic abuse call. On average, a woman is assaulted 35 times before her first call to the police. 20% of children in the UK have been exposed to domestic abuse. These are horrifying figures.

The Government defines domestic abuse as:

Any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:

  • psychological
  • physical
  •  sexual
  • financial
  • emotional

The term domestic abuse covers a wide range of behaviours and does not always mean that there is physical abuse. A large proportion of the cases we deal with have an element of domestic abuse within them. Our clients are sometimes reluctant to discuss the abuse or address it. They simply want to leave the relationship and get out of the situation as quickly and easily as possible.

Domestic abuse is not confined to any one type of person, it can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, religion, race. The victims have often been isolated by the abuser with their links and access to friends and family is restricted. They describe living in the home with the abuser as ‘like walking on eggshells’ when they never know what behaviour will set the abuser off.

The person suffering from domestic abuse can feel embarrassed – how can an educated man or woman have found themselves in this situation? How can a man be under the control of a woman who is so much physically smaller than him? These are common feelings. It is also usual to feel that no one will believe that this charming person could behave in this way behind closed doors.

Taking the next steps

The idea of going to court to get an injunction to stop the abuser contacting the victim or forcing them to leave the house is a terrifying thought for most people experiencing domestic abuse. We can help a person experiencing domestic abuse to obtain these injunctions but it is not the right resolution for everyone. Often, even taking the step of speaking to a solicitor about their situation can be as much as they can manage at the time.

Often our clients need to build confidence in themselves again before they can take the next step and leave their abusive partner. What we can do at a first meeting is talk through the options, let you know there are choices and perhaps most importantly, reassure you that all those threats you may have heard from your partner are untrue. Such as :

  • If you leave you to lose your rights to the house
  • If you make me leave I won’t pay the mortgage and you won’t get to stay in the home
  • You can go, but you can’t take the kids with you
  • No one will believe you
  • It’s your fault this is happening

These are threats that are regularly made towards our clients and with our knowledge of our legal system, We are equipped to deal with them. Some answers and solutions will protect you. As an example; there are ways to ensure that your abuser continues to pay the mortgage. If you are compelled, for reasons of safety to leave your home we will ensure this does not mean losing your rights of ownership.  We will ensure that your children’s needs will be our priority and not be determined by the perpetrator who remains living in your home.

There is good support out there for you if you are experiencing domestic abuse. If you are thinking of leaving your abusive partner then make sure you access appropriate support alongside the advice we will provide as a family law specialist. Local services include:

SDAS – http://southerndas.org/

Worth – http://www.worthservices.org/

Freedom – http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

If you are in an abusive relationship and want to know more about the support available to you if you leave or divorce your partner, contact Kayani Legal for a confidential, non-judgmental chat.

People often have various questions about domestic violence and abuse, and many of the most commonly asked ones can be found on our dedicated domestic violence page where you’ll also find out more about how we at Kayani Legal Solicitors can assist you.

The Help You Need, from Experienced, Respected Family Law Solicitors

Whatever family or relationship difficulties you are facing, our Ilford, London based family law experts are readily available to assist with specialist advice across all aspects of family law. Our fees are reasonable and competitive and you’ll find them fully transparent, i.e. no hidden costs or surprises.

Whatever your legal needs are, we love to help and welcome you to our offices located in Ilford, London. We know what is at stake and we make our experts available whenever they are needed without an iota of doubt.